2020

 What a year man what a year. This year marks the 6th year ive spent sitting at home, 5 years without salary. Facing the same 5 walls (i stare at the ceiling alot) all day everyday. And here naive me thought this year could end well for once. But no. Rejection after rejection after rejection. I’m honestly tired already. And all of this stem back to one bad decision i made. Set me back five fucking years. The 5 most important years in my prime. I’ll never be as strong or active at that 5 years anymore. Why do i need to live this abnormal life like a fucking useless cunt. Im ruined completely. I have no more confidence, i have no job experience, i Have no money, no career. Its become a taboo topic because my parents know i blame them but theres nothing any of us can do. Fuck life man. 

Now i dont know how to live for my self. U know what it feels like being a ball kicked around so hard. Whats my life going to be the next 20 years? Old, bald fat fuck and completely useless. Look at any of my peers, and you’ll see they’re doing way better. At least they have freedom, at least they’re doing what they love. 

Then to top off the end of the year, nothing goes right. Im so sick and tired of that one decision that set me back so far. I dont even have a social life anymore ffs. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Tired. Sleep. Maybe i’ll die in my sleep. That’ll solve a lot of problems. I have some life insurance anyway. Die then they got money to take also good. Fuck fuck fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk

The past

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow,
Creeps at this petty pace.

What shall i do what should i do.
I long for your laughter
Thirst for your smile
Hunger for your company

It wont be soon before long

New Year's Resolution

Okay... I think i've finally thought it through after a week.
Its time to list out this year's resolution !!!

Here we go ~

1. To be more selfless !
This is not explainable hahaha

2. To get fit !
Ok, i know getting a six pax or smth like that is not reasonable.
So what im at least going to do is to get into the BMI range. That should suffice in a year =D

3. To control my tongue !
I know sometimes when i talk, the tone and attitude is not right.
Someone told me this indirectly and i thought a lot. I guess its right that i should change

4. Better time management !
Im always doing things last minute. So i should speed up a little in everything that i do

5. To be less lazy !
In order to achieve 2 , 3 and 4, i think 5 is more important. hahaha
thoughts all jumbled up.

6. To learn a new skill !
Anything. cooking, repair car .... something.
I dont want to waste this year too, like my past 18 years.

7. Lastly, To never give up
Um... how should i explain this?
This means that i should have more perseverance and courage.

at the end of this year, im gonna check back this list, and see how many i will actually achieve!
But im sure i will achieve AT LEAST ONE !
hahahaha

The Race

1.06 a.m

Taylor Swift - The Story Of Us

An Eternity

Always remember, you are braver than you believe
Stronger than you seem,
Smarter than you think,
And twice as beautiful as you've imagined.

I think its the first thing i wanna say in 2012.
End of the world? I dont believe. Screw it.
Its the end of the world when i say so !
So why bother worrying yourself with useless things?
Just live life as it is.

I think 2011 has been a pretty eventful year

First, i had to leave Singapore, which wasnt exactly a big deal
Second I went to uni. cool
Third, i got my driving license and car. Then i got into an accident. really eventful
Fourth, i got the biggest scar in my life (yet) and i hope thats it.
Pretty memorable i'd say. ups and downs, bittersweet, definitely good times and bad times.

Its been a tough year for me too.
I needed to learn how to cope with many many new things.
The lessons in life are infinite.
"You learn something new everyday" Damn its true.
But i have to admit, i've wasted a lot of time too this year. The things i have done, the moments gone.
The things i should have done. Long list.

So what am i going to do now?
I am going to do a new year's resolution. (Yes, its very corny)
But its gonna be a realistic one this time. Last time it was all pure crap.
Its time for something for more serious. I cant exactly think of a list yet
But first on the list is, I'm going to learn how to be more selfless.
Think of others more than yourself. I think that i am a very selfish person. extremely
I need to be more like you. just keep everything inside. If you let people know, it only makes them sad.
If only you know the thoughts that run through my head, you would see it very clearly.

So all in all. Heres a wish !!

A Very Very Happy New Year To Everyone Out There !!!!!
Or more likely, to anyone who sees this blog, Happy new year to you.
:)

Forever And Always, An Eternity

Listening to - Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You - Fang Da Tong
6.22

With My Last Breath

Wow, worst presentation i've ever done.
Suddenly bring back my memories back to form 1.
i remember back in dato, i've done science presentations as well.
something bout single cell organisms.
EVEN THEN I DID BETTER

problem? ill prepared.
Just because its moral studies, i couldnt be bothered to prepare for it.
Thats why im going to make up for it in Malaysian studies.
Its this friday. And hell yeah, i think we're gonna do just fine.
I still hope somebody can record this down though. i think its going to be super funny

Only one

Queue

Its December already. How fast is this year passing ?
Can it please slow down ?

There are still so many things that i want to do.
I've been so busy with being idle that i've wasted a lot of time

Been a bit crazy lately.
Keep having these weird thoughts.
This is unhealthy. I should be doing something about it

How else am i going to be mr simple then?
I know what i want.

Oh yes. I've finished more work and passed them up.
I guess thats the only thing thats in my schedule now.
Work work work.

回忆

Timecheck - 2.11 am.

My Direction

Busy busy busy.
yet another work submitted.

Hanging out is best. love it when we play sports and chiong like mad.
Going for my marathong this sunday. Never tried a morning race before uh.
Hope the sun wont wear me out haha.

I overslept. dayum. just broke my perfect record of never being late.
reason : i have no idea. I think i slept too much LOL
sounds unreasonable, but yeah.

been spending way too much cash lately. now im really broke.
nedda make up a budget for myself eh?
i even paid 11 bucks for parking. its just outrageous.

It is now 8.30 am.
I havent slept for abt 22 hours. im gonna go crash now.

Lost in your abyss

Boomerang

Sadded. Paintball was cancelled =/
Was really looking forward to it.

Oh well, guess i just have to wait for another deal on groupon.
AND WHICH I HAVE !
Its rock climbing !!
Gonna drag lots and lots of ppl to go with.

Tired recently.
Always like this this.
Deadlines all stick close by.
queues up one after another.

The good thing is, i wont have so much free time.
Im always stuck when i have free time -.-
dont know what to do.

借口

The Little Things

What a great relief
The business plan is finally submitted.
Should be okay i think. Hope i get decent marks
I didnt spend a whole week not getting enough sleep to get crappy marks ._.

Went for pizza again today !
omnomnom sarpino's ! better than pizza hut and dominos !
haha. I think my whole class enjoys eating there.
We all learned to talk more crap today

Played some badminton too.
Been a while since i played.
Sad though, im just stuck at a level

Show encrypted text

listening to - 周杰伦 - 彩虹

I Wish

Been a very busy week indeed
Had the second public speaking of course
Leg was shaking. Pretty funny when i think about it now.

I've always known that i have stage fright
Now i just need to fight it.
Cos at times like this remind me, that i've to keep my feet on the ground.

Yes, im trying to be Mr Simple and Mr Positive.
Always keep things simple and easy.

"Living Without Limits"
I wonder what that would be like

我不会放弃！！

Posted on - 11.11 pm of 11th November, 2011.

Listening to - 简单爱