2020

 What a year man what a year. This year marks the 6th year ive spent sitting at home, 5 years without salary. Facing the same 5 walls (i stare at the ceiling alot) all day everyday. And here naive me thought this year could end well for once. But no. Rejection after rejection after rejection. I’m honestly tired already. And all of this stem back to one bad decision i made. Set me back five fucking years. The 5 most important years in my prime. I’ll never be as strong or active at that 5 years anymore. Why do i need to live this abnormal life like a fucking useless cunt. Im ruined completely. I have no more confidence, i have no job experience, i Have no money, no career. Its become a taboo topic because my parents know i blame them but theres nothing any of us can do. Fuck life man. 

Now i dont know how to live for my self. U know what it feels like being a ball kicked around so hard. Whats my life going to be the next 20 years? Old, bald fat fuck and completely useless. Look at any of my peers, and you’ll see they’re doing way better. At least they have freedom, at least they’re doing what they love. 

Then to top off the end of the year, nothing goes right. Im so sick and tired of that one decision that set me back so far. I dont even have a social life anymore ffs. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Tired. Sleep. Maybe i’ll die in my sleep. That’ll solve a lot of problems. I have some life insurance anyway. Die then they got money to take also good. Fuck fuck fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk

The past

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow,
Creeps at this petty pace.

What shall i do what should i do.
I long for your laughter
Thirst for your smile
Hunger for your company

It wont be soon before long

New Year's Resolution

Okay... I think i've finally thought it through after a week.
Its time to list out this year's resolution !!!

Here we go ~

1. To be more selfless !
This is not explainable hahaha

2. To get fit !
Ok, i know getting a six pax or smth like that is not reasonable.
So what im at least going to do is to get into the BMI range. That should suffice in a year =D

3. To control my tongue !
I know sometimes when i talk, the tone and attitude is not right.
Someone told me this indirectly and i thought a lot. I guess its right that i should change

4. Better time management !
Im always doing things last minute. So i should speed up a little in everything that i do

5. To be less lazy !
In order to achieve 2 , 3 and 4, i think 5 is more important. hahaha
thoughts all jumbled up.

6. To learn a new skill !
Anything. cooking, repair car .... something.
I dont want to waste this year too, like my past 18 years.

7. Lastly, To never give up
Um... how should i explain this?
This means that i should have more perseverance and courage.

at the end of this year, im gonna check back this list, and see how many i will actually achieve!
But im sure i will achieve AT LEAST ONE !
hahahaha

The Race

1.06 a.m

Taylor Swift - The Story Of Us

An Eternity

Always remember, you are braver than you believe
Stronger than you seem,
Smarter than you think,
And twice as beautiful as you've imagined.

I think its the first thing i wanna say in 2012.
End of the world? I dont believe. Screw it.
Its the end of the world when i say so !
So why bother worrying yourself with useless things?
Just live life as it is.

I think 2011 has been a pretty eventful year

First, i had to leave Singapore, which wasnt exactly a big deal
Second I went to uni. cool
Third, i got my driving license and car. Then i got into an accident. really eventful
Fourth, i got the biggest scar in my life (yet) and i hope thats it.
Pretty memorable i'd say. ups and downs, bittersweet, definitely good times and bad times.

Its been a tough year for me too.
I needed to learn how to cope with many many new things.
The lessons in life are infinite.
"You learn something new everyday" Damn its true.
But i have to admit, i've wasted a lot of time too this year. The things i have done, the moments gone.
The things i should have done. Long list.

So what am i going to do now?
I am going to do a new year's resolution. (Yes, its very corny)
But its gonna be a realistic one this time. Last time it was all pure crap.
Its time for something for more serious. I cant exactly think of a list yet
But first on the list is, I'm going to learn how to be more selfless.
Think of others more than yourself. I think that i am a very selfish person. extremely
I need to be more like you. just keep everything inside. If you let people know, it only makes them sad.
If only you know the thoughts that run through my head, you would see it very clearly.

So all in all. Heres a wish !!

A Very Very Happy New Year To Everyone Out There !!!!!
Or more likely, to anyone who sees this blog, Happy new year to you.
:)

Forever And Always, An Eternity

Listening to - Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You - Fang Da Tong
6.22

With My Last Breath

Wow, worst presentation i've ever done.
Suddenly bring back my memories back to form 1.
i remember back in dato, i've done science presentations as well.
something bout single cell organisms.
EVEN THEN I DID BETTER

problem? ill prepared.
Just because its moral studies, i couldnt be bothered to prepare for it.
Thats why im going to make up for it in Malaysian studies.
Its this friday. And hell yeah, i think we're gonna do just fine.
I still hope somebody can record this down though. i think its going to be super funny

Only one

Queue

Its December already. How fast is this year passing ?
Can it please slow down ?

There are still so many things that i want to do.
I've been so busy with being idle that i've wasted a lot of time

Been a bit crazy lately.
Keep having these weird thoughts.
This is unhealthy. I should be doing something about it

How else am i going to be mr simple then?
I know what i want.

Oh yes. I've finished more work and passed them up.
I guess thats the only thing thats in my schedule now.
Work work work.

回忆

Timecheck - 2.11 am.

My Direction

Busy busy busy.
yet another work submitted.

Hanging out is best. love it when we play sports and chiong like mad.
Going for my marathong this sunday. Never tried a morning race before uh.
Hope the sun wont wear me out haha.

I overslept. dayum. just broke my perfect record of never being late.
reason : i have no idea. I think i slept too much LOL
sounds unreasonable, but yeah.

been spending way too much cash lately. now im really broke.
nedda make up a budget for myself eh?
i even paid 11 bucks for parking. its just outrageous.

It is now 8.30 am.
I havent slept for abt 22 hours. im gonna go crash now.

Lost in your abyss

Boomerang

Sadded. Paintball was cancelled =/
Was really looking forward to it.

Oh well, guess i just have to wait for another deal on groupon.
AND WHICH I HAVE !
Its rock climbing !!
Gonna drag lots and lots of ppl to go with.

Tired recently.
Always like this this.
Deadlines all stick close by.
queues up one after another.

The good thing is, i wont have so much free time.
Im always stuck when i have free time -.-
dont know what to do.

借口

The Little Things

What a great relief
The business plan is finally submitted.
Should be okay i think. Hope i get decent marks
I didnt spend a whole week not getting enough sleep to get crappy marks ._.

Went for pizza again today !
omnomnom sarpino's ! better than pizza hut and dominos !
haha. I think my whole class enjoys eating there.
We all learned to talk more crap today

Played some badminton too.
Been a while since i played.
Sad though, im just stuck at a level

Show encrypted text

listening to - 周杰伦 - 彩虹

I Wish

Been a very busy week indeed
Had the second public speaking of course
Leg was shaking. Pretty funny when i think about it now.

I've always known that i have stage fright
Now i just need to fight it.
Cos at times like this remind me, that i've to keep my feet on the ground.

Yes, im trying to be Mr Simple and Mr Positive.
Always keep things simple and easy.

"Living Without Limits"
I wonder what that would be like

我不会放弃！！

Posted on - 11.11 pm of 11th November, 2011.

Listening to - 简单爱

The Grim Reaper

Time passes by each day

Im not making full use of it.

Stuck in front of the computer

Procrastinating that i should do something fruitful

Unfortunately, i cant do what i said.

Fortunately, i start to lead a more active life

Social life maybe, sports wise i think much more

Tennis, running. i hope to find more things to do.

Rest In Peace

Timecheck - 1.51 am.
I couldnt sleep. it keeps disturbing me in my thoughts. so i had to write this immediately

Body Parts

I dedicate these spoken words to you. and you alone.


My heart was talking to my head.
It said : "i've loved once, and i'll never love again"
And my head at this replied :
"I'll miss her too, she was easy on the eyes"

My eyes,
And all they do is look around for you
And every night with their lids closed tight
They're lost in dreams, but they'll awake
and hope to see you lying next to me.

My feet could feel in their soles
We've come too far to get home
And these hands, they felt the same
They could've hold her, but they didnt

If there's one thing i learned, its how easy the tables turned
And if there's one think i know, its the fine art of letting go.

And now all i do is look around for you
And every night my eyes closed tight
I'm lost in dreams but i'll awake and see
you lying next to me.

Less Than 24 Hours

Man, its been a wild party last night.
Was really fun going out with all my crazy classmates
Had a pretty memorable time

Seeing those who cant drink getting drunk. Really funny
Then of course there are consequences. No biggie.
And today another time. First it was just supper
But of course more plans came up.

Reallyyyy tired now.
I guess the only thing im going to do is probably sleep.
Nothin much i can do afteralll.

It's been less than a day, but it feels like i cant go on

Listening to - All American Rejects - Back To Me
Timecheck - 5.15 a.m

Renewed Light

Whoa, hasnt this place gotten dusty?
Havent updated in a while.

Too busy with life's hustle and bustle
Heck, i barely even have enough time to sleep
6 hours a day is minimum, but it aint enuff okay.

Guess im pretty free today, since i finished my presentation.
Truth is, i didnt prepare well for this one.
I just went out, and say whatever i can think of.
Not impressive at all.

Real Steel was a blast.
Inspirational ya know.
Fight for what you want, never give up.

Do Second Chances Exist?

I've soent about 3 hours on this post. hahaha
Listening to - Hey Monday - 6 Months

Halloween On Christmas

Tiring day today.
damn sore throat, made me thirsty all day

but, i still went to eat as much as i like. hahaha
pretty good day although it was tiring.

Just had to take extra shortcuts to get home.
Stupid traffic jams here are a serious pain.

"Perfect"

October October

As expected, things happen.
Forgoing friends for results.
it sucks, but i think its only fair that i pursue my own results.

Hope it doesnt affect our friendship though.
I wont blame you if you're angry.

Running Out Of Time.

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.

Say Goodbye To September

Another month passes.
How time moves so quickly.
I often think that i dont have enough time because i dont manage time properly.
sigh. i wish time would slow down for me.

Its been a pretty busy week (hence the lack of update)

Much things to do and to catch up with.
Im already wayyy behind schedule in the 2nd week of 2nd sem.

Tell me, Show me.

Listening to - Mcfly - Room On The Third Floor
Timecheck - 2.13 am.

Coast To Coast

Good friday night there.
Arthur's day celebration

Went to an outdoor concert with quite many artists performing
Never had something like this before. good experience haha
Ended with Taio Cruz performing. pretty late though, almost 12
Went for a lil supper afterwards

Home bound weekend as usual
Didnt even go out... somehow my plans didnt work out. THANKS TO SOMEBODY.

Its in my voice

Listening to - 1973 - James Blunt

Its Where The Stars Line Up

okay, i've been spending too much $_$ lately.
going bankrupt already.
better start controlling my wallet haha

How come im still not doing my assignments =/
damn im so lazy. hahaha.

Seems like lecturers this sem's okay...
except the indian lady who lectures. im gonna record her lecture down,
LISTEN to it when im insomniac. hahahahaha

Its Where The Oceans Touch

Listening to - Locofrank - Nothing's gonna change my love for you
Timecheck - too early. doesnt matter.

Heal

Crap. Assignments are rolling in much faster than i thought

So much for enjoying uni life
Im already imagining myself in the library like the previous sem

Need a serious exercise routine.
Or else my body fat is screwed big time.

Decision making is here again...
Its not fun when you have to choose,
To sacrifice friendship or your grades?

Black Sheep