What a year man what a year. This year marks the 6th year ive spent sitting at home, 5 years without salary. Facing the same 5 walls (i stare at the ceiling alot) all day everyday. And here naive me thought this year could end well for once. But no. Rejection after rejection after rejection. I’m honestly tired already. And all of this stem back to one bad decision i made. Set me back five fucking years. The 5 most important years in my prime. I’ll never be as strong or active at that 5 years anymore. Why do i need to live this abnormal life like a fucking useless cunt. Im ruined completely. I have no more confidence, i have no job experience, i Have no money, no career. Its become a taboo topic because my parents know i blame them but theres nothing any of us can do. Fuck life man.
Now i dont know how to live for my self. U know what it feels like being a ball kicked around so hard. Whats my life going to be the next 20 years? Old, bald fat fuck and completely useless. Look at any of my peers, and you’ll see they’re doing way better. At least they have freedom, at least they’re doing what they love.
Then to top off the end of the year, nothing goes right. Im so sick and tired of that one decision that set me back so far. I dont even have a social life anymore ffs. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Tired. Sleep. Maybe i’ll die in my sleep. That’ll solve a lot of problems. I have some life insurance anyway. Die then they got money to take also good. Fuck fuck fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk
